12.4 Góa ná-chai Sîn boeh án-chóaⁿ sím-phòaⁿ?
Tán góa kā kè-ōe an-pâi hó-sè, kō͘ siūⁿ-ê kā si̍t-si chi̍t-piàn. Ta̍k-kang chá-khí góa kè-sio̍k peh kàu soaⁿ-téng, hia lī góa ê siâⁿ-pó tāi-khài 3 mai [4.8 km] khah ke, khòaⁿ hái-siōng sī m̄-sī ū chûn, í-keng óa kàu chit-ê tó, a̍h sī tī hn̄g-hn̄g hia hiòng chit-ê tó. M̄-koh, keng-kòe nn̄g/saⁿ kò goe̍h ê koan-chhat, ta̍k-pái lóng bô hoat-hiān siáⁿ, góa khai-sí ià-siān chit-hāng ngē-táu khang-khòe. Tī chit-tōaⁿ sî-kan, m̄-nā tī hái-hōaⁿ a̍h óa hái-piⁿ bô siáⁿ hoat-kiàn, liân tī kui-ê tōa-hái, kō͘ ba̍k-chiu a̍h tiàu-kiàⁿ mā bô khòaⁿ-e jīm-hô chûn-iáⁿ.
Ta̍k-kang khì soaⁿ-téng koan-khòaⁿ, góa chóng-sī cheng-sîn pá-móa, tùi ka-tī ê kè-ōe hèng chhih-chhih, sûi-sî ē-sái chip-hêng chit-chióng bû-thí ê jīm-bū, thâi-sí jī/saⁿ-cha̍p ê chhiah-khò͘-lān chheⁿ-hoan. M̄-koh iú-koan in ê chōe-kò, góa m̄-bat keng-kòe su-sióng tek ê thó-lūn, put-kò sī in-ūi tong-chho͘ hō͘ chiah-ê chāi-tē lâng bô chū-jiân hong-sio̍k ê khióng-pò͘ só͘ tiám-to̍h ê jia̍t-hóe. Khòaⁿ-khoán, Thiⁿ-ì tī tùi sè-kan ê an-pâi tang-tiong, bô chiàu-kò͘ kàu chia, kan-ta pàng in hoat-hui ka-tī ê oàn-chheh hām pāi-hoāi ê jia̍t-chêng. Só͘-tì, in chò chit-chióng khióng-pò͘ ê tāi-chì í-keng kúi-tē lâng, in chū-jiân tō ióng-sêng chit-chióng kiaⁿ-lâng ê hong-sio̍k. Nā m̄-sī Thiⁿ-kong pàng-sak in, nā m̄-sī in chū-ngó͘ tūi-lo̍h, in bô eng-kai tio̍h án-ne.
M̄-koh, thâu-chêng góa kóng-kòe, ta̍k chá-khí khì koan-chhat bô siáⁿ hoat-hiān, góa í-keng kám-kak ià-siān, tùi hêng-tōng pún-sin ê khòaⁿ-hoat khai-sí kái-piàn. Góa khai-sí léng-chēng su-khó ka-tī ê hêng-tōng. Lāu-thiⁿ iông-ún in kúi-sì-lâng hō͘-siong chân-sat koh bô tit-tio̍h chhú-host, góa ná-ū siáⁿ khoân-lī hām chek-jīm kā in tòng-chò hoān-lâng phòaⁿ-chōe, chhú-sí ah? In kám ū hoān tio̍h góa? Góa ū siáⁿ khoân-lī ka-ji̍p in ê hō͘-siong chân-sat?
Góa chhiâng-chāi án-ne hām ka-tī piān-lūn:
"Góa ná-chai Sîn boeh án-chóaⁿ sím-phòaⁿ chit-ê àn-kiāⁿ? Ē-tàng khak-tēng ê sī, chiah-ê lâng m̄-chai che sī hoān-chōe. Che bô ûi-hoán in ê liông-sim, mā bē cho-siū liông-sim ê khián-chek. In m̄-chai chia̍h-lâng sī ûi-hoán thiⁿ-lí, koh tiau kò͘-ì khì mō͘-hoān, che hām lán hoān ê tōa pō͘-hūn kòe-chhò kāng-khoán. In bô jīn-ûi thâi-sí chiàn-hu sī hoān-chōe, he hām lán thâi chi̍t-chiah gû kāng-khoán. In jīn-ûi chia̍h lâng-bah hām lán chia̍h iûⁿ-bah kāng-khoán."
Góa sió-khóa su-khó chit-ê būn-tê, kiat-kio̍k hoat-hiān sī góa ê m̄-tio̍h. Chiah-ê lâng pēng m̄-sī chá-chêng góa só͘ khián-chek ê hit-chióng sat-jîn hoān. In bē khah-su chhiūⁿ ū-ê Kitok-tô͘ kā chiàn-hu chhú-sí, ū-sî sīm-chì tī te̍k-jîn í-keng pàng-lo̍h bú-khì tâu-hâng ê sî, kā in kui-ê pō͘-tūi thâi-sí, bô jiâu-sià.
Kî-chhù, góa koh siūⁿ tio̍h, sui-bóng in hō͘-siong chân-jím, hō͘-siong bô jîn-sèng, che kap góa bô siáⁿ koan-hē. In tùi góa pēng bô siong-hāi. Ká-sú in siūⁿ boeh hāi góa, góa ūi-tio̍h pó-hō͘ ka-tī, hiòng in chìn-kong, che iáu kóng ē-kòe. Taⁿ góa sī tī in ê sè-le̍k hoān-ûi gōa, in kin-pún m̄-chai góa ê chûn-chāi, mā bô tùi góa ê àn-sǹg. Só͘-tì, góa tùi in tāng-chhiú, án-ne sī bô chèng-gī. Án-ne tō bē-su sêng-jīn hiah-ê Sepanga lâng tī Amerika ê iá-bân hêng-ûi ha̍h chèng-gī. Tī hia, Sepanga lâng tô͘-sat chhian-chhian bān-bān ê tong-tē lâng. Hiah-ê tong-tē lâng sī chông-pài ngó͘-siōng ê iá-bân lâng, in ê hong-sio̍k ū chē-chē lâu-hoeh lâu-tih ê iá-bân gî-sek, chhin-chhiūⁿ kóng hi-seng oa̍h-lâng hiàn-chè in ê ngó͘-siōng. M̄-koh, tùi Sepanga lâng lâi kóng, chiah-ê lâng sī bû-ko͘ ê. Sepanga lâng chit-chióng thâi-lâng bia̍t-chéng ê hêng-ûi, bô-lūn tī Sepanga lâng ka-tī tiong-kan, a̍h tī Europa ê Kitok kàu kok-ka tiong-kan, kóng-khí che chóng-sī ín-khí ke̍k tōa ê oàn-hūn hām hùn-khài, jīn-ûi he sī tô͘-sat, sī chi̍t-chióng chân-jím, bô jîn-sèng ê po̍k-hêng, bô ha̍h Sîn a̍h lâng ê chèng-gī. Ūi tio̍h che, tan-tan Sepanga lâng chit-ê miâ hông tòng-chò tō sī khó-phà hām khióng-pò͘, tùi só͘-ū ū jîn-sèng a̍h ū Kitok chêng-hoâi ê lâng lóng án-ne kám-kak. Bē-su Sepanga chit-ê kok-ka te̍k-pia̍t gâu chhut chit-chióng lâng, in bô un-jiû ê goân-chek, tùi put-hēng ê lâng bô chi̍t-sut-á tông-chêng; á tông-chêng sim chiàⁿ-chiàⁿ sī lán-lâng jîn-chû phín-tek ê piau-chì.
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12.4 我那知神欲按怎審判?
等我 kā 計畫安排好勢, kō͘ 想 ê kā 實施一遍. 逐工早起我繼續 peh 到山頂, hia 離我 ê 城堡大概 3 mai [4.8 km] 較加, 看海上是毋是有船, 已經倚到這个島, a̍h 是 tī 遠遠 hia 向這个島. M̄-koh, 經過兩三個月 ê 觀察, 逐擺 lóng 無發現啥, 我開始厭僐這項硬篤工課. Tī 這段時間, 毋但 tī 海岸 a̍h 倚海邊無啥發見, 連 tī 規个大海, kō͘ 目睭 a̍h 召鏡 mā 無看 e 任何船影.
逐工去山頂觀看, 我總是精神飽滿, 對家己 ê 計畫興 chhih-chhih, 隨時會使執行這種無恥 ê 任務, 刣死二三十个赤褲膦生番. M̄-koh 有關 in ê 罪過, 我毋捌經過思想的 ê 討論, 不過是因為當初予 chiah-ê 在地人無自然風俗 ê 恐怖所點 to̍h ê 熱火. 看款, 天意 tī 對世間 ê 安排當中, 無照顧到 chia, 干焦放 in 發揮家己 ê oàn-chheh 和敗壞 ê 熱情. 所致, in 做這種恐怖 ê 代誌已經幾代人, in 自然 tō 養成這種驚人 ê 風俗. 若毋是天公放捒 in, 若毋是 in 自我墮落, in 無應該著 án-ne.
M̄-koh, 頭前我講過, 逐早起去觀察無啥發現, 我已經感覺厭僐, 對行動本身 ê 看法開始改變. 我開始冷靜思考家己 ê 行動. 老天容允 in 幾世人互相殘殺 koh 無得著處罰, 我那有啥權利和責任 kā in 當做犯人判罪, 處死 ah? In 敢有犯著我? 我有啥權利加入 in ê 互相殘殺?
我常在 án-ne 和家己辯論:
"我那知神欲按怎審判這个案件? 會當確定 ê 是, chiah-ê 人毋知這是犯罪. 這無違反 in ê 良心, mā 袂遭受良心 ê 譴責. In 毋知食人是違反天理, koh 刁故意去冒犯, 這和咱犯 ê 大部份過錯仝款. In 無認為刣死戰俘是犯罪, he 和咱刣一隻牛仝款. In 認為食人肉和咱食羊肉仝款."
我小可思考這个問題, 結局發現是我 ê 毋著. Chiah-ê 人並毋是早前我所譴責 ê 彼種殺人犯. In 袂較輸像有 ê Kitok 徒 kā 戰俘處死, 有時甚至 tī 敵人已經放落武器投降 ê 時, kā in 規个部隊刣死, 無饒赦.
其次, 我 koh 想著, 雖罔 in 互相殘忍, 互相無人性, 這 kap 我無啥關係. In 對我並無傷害. 假使 in 想欲害我, 我為著保護家己, 向 in 進攻, 這猶講會過. 今我是 tī in ê 勢力範圍外, in 根本毋知我 ê 存在, mā 無對我 ê 按算. 所致, 我對 in 動手, án-ne 是無正義. Án-ne tō 袂輸承認 hiah-ê Sepanga 人 tī Amerika ê 野蠻行為合正義. Tī hia, Sepanga 人屠殺千千萬萬 ê 當地人. Hiah-ê 當地人是崇拜偶像 ê 野蠻人, in ê 風俗有濟濟流血流滴 ê 野蠻儀式, 親像講犧牲活人獻祭 in ê 偶像. M̄-koh, 對 Sepanga 人來講, chiah-ê 人是無辜 ê. Sepanga 人這種刣人滅種 ê 行為, 無論 tī Sepanga 人家己中間, a̍h tī Europa ê Kitok 教國家中間, 講起這總是引起極大 ê 怨恨和憤慨, 認為 he 是屠殺, 是一種殘忍, 無人性 ê 暴行, 無合神 a̍h 人 ê 正義. 為著這, 單單 Sepanga 人這个名 hông 當做 tō 是可怕和恐怖, 對所有有人性 a̍h 有 Kitok 情懷 ê 人 lóng án-ne 感覺. 袂輸 Sepanga 這个國家特別 gâu 出這種人, in 無溫柔 ê 原則, 對不幸 ê 人無一屑仔同情; á 同情心正正是咱人仁慈品德 ê 標誌.
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12.4
After I had thus laid the scheme of my design, and in my imagination put it in practice, I continually made my tour every morning to the top of the hill, which was from my castle, as I called it, about three miles or more, to see if I could observe any boats upon the sea, coming near the island, or standing over towards it; but I began to tire of this hard duty, after I had for two or three months constantly kept my watch, but came always back without any discovery; there having not, in all that time, been the least appearance, not only on or near the shore, but on the whole ocean, so far as my eye or glass could reach every way.
As long as I kept my daily tour to the hill, to look out, so long also I kept up the vigour of my design, and my spirits seemed to be all the while in a suitable frame for so outrageous an execution as the killing twenty or thirty naked savages, for an offence which I had not at all entered into any discussion of in my thoughts, any farther than my passions were at first fired by the horror I conceived at the unnatural custom of the people of that country, who, it seems, had been suffered by Providence, in His wise disposition of the world, to have no other guide than that of their own abominable and vitiated passions; and consequently were left, and perhaps had been so for some ages, to act such horrid things, and receive such dreadful customs, as nothing but nature, entirely abandoned by Heaven, and actuated by some hellish degeneracy, could have run them into. /
But now, when, as I have said, I began to be weary of the fruitless excursion which I had made so long and so far every morning in vain, so my opinion of the action itself began to alter; and I began, with cooler and calmer thoughts, to consider what I was going to engage in; what authority or call I had to pretend to be judge and executioner upon these men as criminals, whom Heaven had thought fit for so many ages to suffer unpunished to go on, and to be as it were the executioners of His judgments one upon another; how far these people were offenders against me, and what right I had to engage in the quarrel of that blood which they shed promiscuously upon one another. /
I debated this very often with myself thus:
“How do I know what God Himself judges in this particular case? It is certain these people do not commit this as a crime; it is not against their own consciences reproving, or their light reproaching them; they do not know it to be an offence, and then commit it in defiance of divine justice, as we do in almost all the sins we commit. They think it no more a crime to kill a captive taken in war than we do to kill an ox; or to eat human flesh than we do to eat mutton.”
When I considered this a little, it followed necessarily that I was certainly in the wrong; that these people were not murderers, in the sense that I had before condemned them in my thoughts, any more than those Christians were murderers who often put to death the prisoners taken in battle; or more frequently, upon many occasions, put whole troops of men to the sword, without giving quarter, though they threw down their arms and submitted. /
In the next place, it occurred to me that although the usage they gave one another was thus brutish and inhuman, yet it was really nothing to me: these people had done me no injury: that if they attempted, or I saw it necessary, for my immediate preservation, to fall upon them, something might be said for it: but that I was yet out of their power, and they really had no knowledge of me, and consequently no design upon me; and therefore it could not be just for me to fall upon them; that this would justify the conduct of the Spaniards in all their barbarities practised in America, where they destroyed millions of these people; who, however they were idolators and barbarians, and had several bloody and barbarous rites in their customs, such as sacrificing human bodies to their idols, were yet, as to the Spaniards, very innocent people; and that the rooting them out of the country is spoken of with the utmost abhorrence and detestation by even the Spaniards themselves at this time, and by all other Christian nations of Europe, as a mere butchery, a bloody and unnatural piece of cruelty, unjustifiable either to God or man; and for which the very name of a Spaniard is reckoned to be frightful and terrible, to all people of humanity or of Christian compassion; as if the kingdom of Spain were particularly eminent for the produce of a race of men who were without principles of tenderness, or the common bowels of pity to the miserable, which is reckoned to be a mark of generous temper in the mind.
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