12.3 Góa chún-pī hó-sè boeh chhut-cheng
Tāi-chì án-ne koh kòe chi̍t-tōaⁿ sî-kan, góa kóng kòe, tî-liáu kèng-ka sió-sim í-gōa, góa ká-ná koh hôe-ho̍k kòe-khì hit-chiong pêng-chēng, an-lêng ê seng-oa̍h hong-sek. It-chhè chiah-ê tāi-chì hō͘ góa lú lâi lú thé-hōe, hām pa̍t-lâng sio-pí, góa ê chōng-hóng lī pi-chhám chin hn̄g. M̄-tio̍h, iû-kî sī hām seng-oa̍h tiong miā-ūn kau hō͘ Sîn koat-tēng ê chē-chē ki-iân sio-pí, góa si̍t-chāi ū-kàu hó-ūn. Che hō͘ góa hoán-séng, lán-lâng nā kā ka-tī ê chōng-hóng hām chōng-hóng khah hāi ê lâng sio-pí, jî m̄-sī hām chōng-hóng khah hó ê lâng sio-pí, án-ne lán tō chai thang kám-un, tō bē bâi-oàn koh se̍h-se̍h liām.
Tī bo̍k-chêng ê chōng-hóng, góa khiàm ê mi̍h-kiāⁿ bô chē; só͘-í góa khak-si̍t jīn-ûi, góa hō͘ hiah-ê hoan-á heh-tio̍h, hām góa hoân-ló án-chóaⁿ pó-hō͘ ka-tī, í-keng sit-khì hoat-bêng kái-siān seng-oa̍h ê lêng-le̍k. Góa í-keng hòng-khì chi̍t-ê su-khó chin kú ê siat-kè, he sī boeh chhì-khòaⁿ sī m̄-sī ē-tàng kā tōa-be̍h chò sêng be̍h-gê, koh iōng be̍h-gê lâi chò bihlù. Che khak-si̍t sī chi̍t-ê hàm-kó͘ ê siūⁿ-hoat, góa mā chhiâng-chāi chek-pī ka-tī kā tāi-chì siūⁿ kah siuⁿ kán-tan. In-ūi chin kín góa tō hoat-hiān, chin chē chò chiú su-iàu ê châi-liāu góa lóng bô. Siú-sian, góa bô chiú-tháng thang té chiú, che góa tī thâu-chêng kóng kòe, góa bat chhì boeh chò chhâ-tháng, chóng-sī chò bē-lâi. Góa khai put-chí kúi-kang, kúi lé-pài, sīm-chì kúi-ā kò goe̍h, m̄-koh lóng bô sêng-kong. Kî-chhù, góa bô bihlù-hoe (hops) thang hō͘ chiú nāi khǹg, bô kàⁿ hō͘ chiú hoat, bô tâng-oe tâng-koàn thang hiâⁿ-kún. M̄-koh, sīm-chì án-ne góa mā siong-sìn, nā m̄-sī in-ūi hō͘ chheⁿ-hoan heh-tio̍h koh kiaⁿ-tio̍h, góa chá tō tāng-chhiú, hoān-sè í-keng sêng-kong ah. In-ūi góa it-hiòng chò tāi-chì bô oân-sêng bē hòng-khì.
M̄-koh, góa taⁿ ê hoat-bêng kiâⁿ hiòng lēng-gōa chi̍t-tiâu lō͘. In-ūi góa mê-liân-ji̍t teh siūⁿ, boeh án-chóaⁿ thàn hiah-ê ok-mô͘ tī hoeh chho̍p-chho̍p tin ê chân-jím iàn-hōe tang-tiong kā in thâi-tiāu chi̍t-kóa; jî-chhiáⁿ nā khó-lêng, kái-kiù in chhōa lâi chia boeh thâi ê siū-hāi-chiá. Ūi-tio̍h boeh siau-bia̍t chiah-ê hoan-á, siōng-bô kā in heh-kiaⁿ hō͘ in m̄-káⁿ koh lâi, góa siūⁿ chē-chē kè-bô͘, a̍h sī kóng, kek chin chē thâu-náu. Nā kā it-chhè chiah-ê lóng kì-chài lo̍h-lâi, chit-pún chheh tō ē piàn kah siuⁿ tōa. M̄-koh, chiah-ê lóng sī khang-siūⁿ, jû-kó góa bô ka-tī khì chò, bô chi̍t-hāng ē sán-seng hāu-kó. Tān-sī, jû-kó in chi̍t-tīn jī/saⁿ-cha̍p lâng, chah pio a̍h keng-chìⁿ, ē-tàng siā kah chhiūⁿ góa phah-chhèng hiah-nī chún, góa ko͘ chi̍t-lâng ná ū khó-lêng tùi-hù ah?
Ū-sî, góa siūⁿ boeh óe chi̍t-ê khang tī in khí-hóe ê só͘-chāi, tī hia tâi gō͘/la̍k-pōng [11-13 kg] hóe-io̍h, tán in chi̍t-ē khí-hóe tō ē po̍k-chà, kā hū-kīn it-chhè chà liáu-liáu. M̄-koh, siú-sian góa m̄-kam thó-chè siuⁿ chē hóe-io̍h tī in, góa chhun ê hóe-io̍h í-keng bô-kàu chi̍t-tháng. Lēng-gōa, góa bē-tàng pó-chèng hóe-io̍h po̍k-chà ê sî-kan, chō-sêng tùi in ê tu̍t-kek. Hô-hóng, he ke̍k-ke sī kā hóe-chheⁿ phùn kàu in ê bīn, hō͘ in kiaⁿ chi̍t-tiô, choa̍t-tùi bô-kàu hō͘ in hòng-khì chit-ê só͘-chāi, éng-oán bē koh lâi. Só͘-í, góa kā chit-ê kè-ōe khǹg chi̍t-pêng. Jiân-āu, góa thê-gī ka-tī, bâi-ho̍k tī chi̍t-ê sek-tòng ê só͘-chāi, kā saⁿ-ki chhèng lóng chng ka-pōe ê hóe-io̍h, tī in kí-hêng hoeh-lâu hoeh-tih ê gî-sek ê sî khui-chhèng, hi-bāng múi chi̍t-chhèng lóng ē-tàng phah-sí a̍h phah-siong nn̄g/saⁿ-lâng. Jiân-āu, chah góa hit saⁿ-ki chhèng hām tn̂g-to chhiong hiòng in, jû-kó in ū jī-cha̍p lâng, góa eng-kai ē-tàng kā in lóng thâi-sí.
Chit-ê khang-siūⁿ hō͘ góa tī sim-lāi hoaⁿ-hí kúi-ā lé-pài. Góa siūⁿ kah chò bîn-bāng, ū-sî sīm-chì tī bāng-tiong hiòng in khui-chhèng. Chit-ê kè-ōe hō͘ góa tio̍h-bê, góa sīm-chì khai kúi-ā kang, khì chhōe sek-ha̍p ê bâi-ho̍k tē-tiám, chiàu góa kóng ê án-ne, hó-thang koan-chhat in. Góa mā chhiâng-chāi khì in chia̍h lâng-bah ê só͘-chāi, chia taⁿ góa í-keng lú lâi lú se̍k-sāi. Iû-kî in-ūi góa chhiong-móa pò-ho̍k ê sim, koh kui-sim siūⁿ boeh chi̍t-to thâi-sí jī/saⁿ-cha̍p lâng, ē-sái án-ne kóng, góa tùi hit só͘-chāi, hām tùi chheⁿ-hoan hō͘-siong thiah-chia̍h ê hûn-jiah só͘ kám-sīu ê khióng-pò͘, chāi-chāi ín-khí góa kui-pak ê hūn-hóe.
Lo̍h-bóe, góa tī pòaⁿ soaⁿ-io chhōe tio̍h chi̍t-ê só͘-chāi, ē-tàng an-choân bih tī hia, khòaⁿ in ê chûn kòe-lâi. Jiân-āu, sīm-chì tī in chiūⁿ-hōaⁿ chìn-chêng, sóa khì chhiū-nâ lāi, kî-tiong ū chi̍t-ê khang, tú-hó ē-tàng hō͘ góa bih. Tī hia, góa ē-sái chē lo̍h-lâi, koan-chhat in lâu-hoeh lâu-tih ê hêng-ûi, biâu-chún in ê thâu, tán in kok chò-hóe ê sî tō khui-chhèng, tek-khak bē sit-gō͘, tē-it chhèng tō phah siong saⁿ/sì-ê.
Jiân-āu, góa koat-tēng tī chit só͘-chāi chip-hêng góa ê kè-ōe. Chū án-ne, góa chún-pī nn̄g-ki musket tn̂g-chhèng, hām pêng-sî iōng ê phah-chiáu chhèng. Múi-ki tn̂g-chhèng chng siang-lia̍p iân-chí, koh ke sì/gō͘-lia̍p khah sè ê chhèng-chí, tōa-sè cpt chhiú-chhèng chhèng-chí án-ne. Phah-chiáu chhèng góa kā chng chi̍t-me siōng tōa-hō ê thian-gô chhèng-chí (swan-shot), Góa ê múi-ki chhiú-chhèng mā lóng chng sì-lia̍p chhèng-chí. Kō͘ chit-chióng chu-thài, ī-pī chhiong-chiok hóe-io̍h hō͘ tē-jī hām tē-saⁿ pái ê siā-kek, góa chún-pī hó-sè boeh chhut-cheng ah.
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12.3 我準備好勢欲出征
代誌 án-ne koh 過一段時間, 我講過, 除了更加小心以外, 我 ká-ná koh 回復過去彼種平靜, 安寧 ê 生活方式. 一切 chiah-ê 代誌予我 lú 來 lú 體會, 和別人相比, 我 ê 狀況離悲慘真遠. 毋著, 尤其是和生活中命運交予神決定 ê 濟濟機緣相比, 我實在有夠好運. 這予我反省, 咱人若 kā 家己 ê 狀況和狀況較害 ê 人相比, 而毋是和狀況較好 ê 人相比, án-ne 咱 tō 知通感恩, tō 袂埋怨 koh 踅踅唸.
Tī 目前 ê 狀況, 我欠 ê 物件無濟; 所以我確實認為, 我予 hiah-ê 番仔嚇著, 和我煩惱按怎保護家己, 已經失去發明改善生活 ê 能力. 我已經放棄一个思考真久 ê 設計, 彼是欲試看是毋是會當 kā 大麥做成麥牙, koh 用麥牙來做 bihlù. 這確實是一个譀古 ê 想法, 我 mā 常在責備家己 kā 代誌想 kah siuⁿ 簡單. 因為真緊我 tō 發現, 真濟做酒需要 ê 材料我 lóng 無. 首先, 我無酒桶 thang 貯酒, 這我 tī 頭前講過, 我 bat 試欲做柴桶, 總是做袂來. 我開不止幾工, 幾禮拜, 甚至幾若個月, m̄-koh lóng 無成功. 其次, 我無 bihlù 花 (hops) thang 予酒耐囥, 無酵予酒發, 無銅鍋銅罐 thang 燃滾. M̄-koh, 甚至 án-ne 我 mā 相信, 若毋是因為予生番嚇著 koh 驚著, 我早 tō 動手, 凡勢已經成功 ah. 因為我一向做代誌無完成袂放棄.
毋過, 我今 ê 發明行向另外一條路. 因為我暝連日 teh 想, 欲按怎趁 hiah-ê 惡魔 tī 血 chho̍p-chho̍p 津 ê 殘忍宴會當中 kā in 刣掉一寡; 而且若可能, 解救 in chhōa 來 chia 欲刣 ê 受害者. 為著欲消滅 chiah-ê 番仔, 上無 kā in 嚇驚予 in 毋敢閣來, 我想濟濟計謀, a̍h 是講, 激真濟頭腦. 若 kā 一切 chiah-ê lóng 記載落來, 這本冊 tō 會變 kah siuⁿ 大. 毋過, chiah-ê lóng 是空想, 如果我無家己去做, 無一項會產生效果. 但是, 如果 in 一陣二三十人, 扎鏢 a̍h 弓箭, 會當射 kah 像我拍銃 hiah-nī 準, 我孤一人那有可能對付 ah?
有時, 我想欲挖一个空 tī in 起火 ê 所在, tī hia 埋五六磅 [2.3-2.7 kg] 火藥, 等 in 一下起火 tō 會爆炸, kā 附近一切炸了了. M̄-koh, 首先我毋甘討債 siuⁿ 濟火藥 tī in, 我賰 ê 火藥已經無夠一桶. 另外, 我袂當保證火藥爆炸 ê 時間, 造成對 in ê 突擊. 何況, he 極加是 kā 火星噴到 in ê 面, 予 in 驚一趒, 絕對無夠予 in 放棄這 ê 所在, 永遠袂 koh 來. 所以, 我 kā 這个計畫囥一爿. 然後, 我提議家己, 埋伏 tī 一个適當 ê 所在, kā 三支銃 lóng 裝加倍 ê 火藥, tī in 舉行血流血滴 ê 儀式 ê 時開銃, 希望每一銃 lóng 會當拍死 a̍h 拍傷兩三人. 然後, 扎我彼三支銃和長刀衝向 in, 如果 in 有二十人, 我應該會當 kā in lóng 刣死.
這个空想予我 tī 心內歡喜幾若禮拜. 我想 kah 做眠夢, 有時甚至 tī 夢中向 in 開銃. 這个計畫予我著迷, 我甚至開幾若工, 去揣適合 ê 埋伏地點, 照我講 ê án-ne, 好通觀察 in. 我 mā 常在去 in 食人肉 ê 所在, chia 今我已經 lú 來 lú 熟似. 尤其因為我充滿報復 ê 心, koh 規心想欲一刀刣死二三十人, 會使 án-ne 講, 我對彼所在, 和對生番互相拆食 ê 痕跡所感受 ê 恐怖, 在在引起我規腹 ê 恨火.
落尾, 我 tī 半山腰揣著一个所在, 會當安全覕 tī hia, 看 in ê 船過來. 然後, 甚至 tī in 上岸進前, 徙去樹林內, 其中有一个空, 拄好會當予我覕. Tī hia, 我會使坐落來, 觀察 in 流血流滴 ê 行為, 瞄準 in ê 頭, 等 in kok 做伙 ê 時 tō 開銃, 的確袂失誤, 第一銃 tō 拍傷三四个.
然後, 我決定 tī 這所在執行我 ê 計畫. 自 án-ne, 我準備兩支 musket 長銃, hām 平時用 ê 拍鳥銃. 每支長銃裝雙粒鉛子, koh 加四五粒較細 ê 銃子, 大細 cpt 手銃銃子 án-ne. 拍鳥銃我 kā 裝一搣上大號 ê 天鵝銃子 (swan-shot), 我 ê 每支手銃 mā lóng 裝四粒銃子. Kō͘ 這種姿態, 預備充足火藥予第二和第三擺 ê 射擊, 我準備好勢欲出征 ah.
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12.3
Things going on thus, as I have said, for some time, I seemed, excepting these cautions, to be reduced to my former calm, sedate way of living. All these things tended to show me more and more how far my condition was from being miserable, compared to some others; nay, to many other particulars of life which it might have pleased God to have made my lot. It put me upon reflecting how little repining there would be among mankind at any condition of life if people would rather compare their condition with those that were worse, in order to be thankful, than be always comparing them with those which are better, to assist their murmurings and complainings.
As in my present condition there were not really many things which I wanted, so indeed I thought that the frights I had been in about these savage wretches, and the concern I had been in for my own preservation, had taken off the edge of my invention, for my own conveniences; and I had dropped a good design, which I had once bent my thoughts upon, and that was to try if I could not make some of my barley into malt, and then try to brew myself some beer. This was really a whimsical thought, and I reproved myself often for the simplicity of it: for I presently saw there would be the want of several things necessary to the making my beer that it would be impossible for me to supply; as, first, casks to preserve it in, which was a thing that, as I have observed already, I could never compass: no, though I spent not only many days, but weeks, nay months, in attempting it, but to no purpose. In the next place, I had no hops to make it keep, no yeast to make it work, no copper or kettle to make it boil; and yet with all these things wanting, I verily believe, had not the frights and terrors I was in about the savages intervened, I had undertaken it, and perhaps brought it to pass too; for I seldom gave anything over without accomplishing it, when once I had it in my head to began it. /
But my invention now ran quite another way; for night and day I could think of nothing but how I might destroy some of the monsters in their cruel, bloody entertainment, and if possible save the victim they should bring hither to destroy. It would take up a larger volume than this whole work is intended to be to set down all the contrivances I hatched, or rather brooded upon, in my thoughts, for the destroying these creatures, or at least frightening them so as to prevent their coming hither any more: but all this was abortive; nothing could be possible to take effect, unless I was to be there to do it myself: and what could one man do among them, when perhaps there might be twenty or thirty of them together with their darts, or their bows and arrows, with which they could shoot as true to a mark as I could with my gun?
Sometimes I thought of digging a hole under the place where they made their fire, and putting in five or six pounds of gunpowder, which, when they kindled their fire, would consequently take fire, and blow up all that was near it: but as, in the first place, I should be unwilling to waste so much powder upon them, my store being now within the quantity of one barrel, so neither could I be sure of its going off at any certain time, when it might surprise them; and, at best, that it would do little more than just blow the fire about their ears and fright them, but not sufficient to make them forsake the place: so I laid it aside; and then proposed that I would place myself in ambush in some convenient place, with my three guns all double-loaded, and in the middle of their bloody ceremony let fly at them, when I should be sure to kill or wound perhaps two or three at every shot; and then falling in upon them with my three pistols and my sword, I made no doubt but that, if there were twenty, I should kill them all. /
This fancy pleased my thoughts for some weeks, and I was so full of it that I often dreamed of it, and, sometimes, that I was just going to let fly at them in my sleep. I went so far with it in my imagination that I employed myself several days to find out proper places to put myself in ambuscade, as I said, to watch for them, and I went frequently to the place itself, which was now grown more familiar to me; but while my mind was thus filled with thoughts of revenge and a bloody putting twenty or thirty of them to the sword, as I may call it, the horror I had at the place, and at the signals of the barbarous wretches devouring one another, abetted my malice. /
Well, at length I found a place in the side of the hill where I was satisfied I might securely wait till I saw any of their boats coming; and might then, even before they would be ready to come on shore, convey myself unseen into some thickets of trees, in one of which there was a hollow large enough to conceal me entirely; and there I might sit and observe all their bloody doings, and take my full aim at their heads, when they were so close together as that it would be next to impossible that I should miss my shot, or that I could fail wounding three or four of them at the first shot. /
In this place, then, I resolved to fulfil my design; and accordingly I prepared two muskets and my ordinary fowling-piece. The two muskets I loaded with a brace of slugs each, and four or five smaller bullets, about the size of pistol bullets; and the fowling-piece I loaded with near a handful of swan-shot of the largest size; I also loaded my pistols with about four bullets each; and, in this posture, well provided with ammunition for a second and third charge, I prepared myself for my expedition.
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