6.2 Kôaⁿ-jia̍t-chèng hoat-chok [Gí-im]
6 goe̍h 16 -- Kiâⁿ kàu hái-piⁿ, góa khòaⁿ tio̍h chi̍t-chiah tōa ku, sī hái-ku. Che sī góa tē-it pái tī chia khòaⁿ tio̍h hái-ku. Khó-lêng sī góa ūn-khì bô hó, chiah ē kàu-taⁿ chiah khòaⁿ tio̍h. Kî-si̍t chit-ê tó ê hái-ku bē chió. Āu-lâi góa hoat-hiān, ká-sú góa khì tó ê iáu chi̍t-pêng, khó-lêng ta̍k-kang ē tú-tio̍h kúi-ā pah chiah, m̄-koh mā khó-lêng in-ūi án-ne tio̍h hù chhut bē-chió ê tāi-kè.
6 goe̍h 17 -- Góa chú hit-chiah hái-ku lâi chia̍h, hoat-hiān i lāi-bīn ū 60 lia̍p nūi. Hit-sî, tùi góa lâi kóng, he bah sī góa it-seng chia̍h kòe siōng chheⁿ-tiⁿ, siōng hó-chia̍h ê. Chū-chiông ta̍h-chiūⁿ chit-ê khó-phà ê só͘-chāi, tî-liáu soaⁿ-iûⁿ hām khîm-lūi, góa m̄-bat chia̍h tio̍h pa̍t-hāng bah.
6 goe̍h 18 -- Kui-jit lo̍h-hō͘, góa bô chhut-mn̂g. Góa kám-kak chit-pái ê hō͘ khah chheⁿ-léng, hō͘ lâng ē ùi-kôaⁿ. Góa chai, tī chit-ê hūi-tō͘ án-ne bô chèng-siông.
6 goe̍h 19 -- Lâng kan-khó͘, phi̍h-phi̍h chùn, ká-ná sī thiⁿ-khì léng ê koan-hē.
6 goe̍h 20 -- Kui-mê khùn bē khì, thâu-khak thiàⁿ kah sia̍k-sia̍k kiò, koh hoat-sio.
6 goe̍h 21 -- Choân-sin bē sóng-khoài. Siūⁿ tio̍h ka-tī ê khó͘-chêng -- phòa-pēⁿ bô lâng kò͘, hō͘ góa kiaⁿ kah boeh sí. Chū-chiông lī-khui Hull tú tio̍h tōa hong-hō͘ í-āu, che sī góa tē-it pái hiòng Sîn kî-tó. M̄-koh góa m̄-chai kî-tó siáⁿ, ūi tio̍h siáⁿ, in-ūi góa ê sim-su loān chhau-chhau.
6 goe̍h 22 -- Sió-khóa khah hó, m̄-koh iáu sī kài kiaⁿ phòa-pēⁿ.
6 goe̍h 23 -- Koh giâm-tiōng khí-lâi, kôaⁿ koh khu̍h-khu̍h chùn, jiân-āu thâu-khak thiàⁿ kah boeh sí.
6 goe̍h 24 -- Hó chin chē ah.
6 goe̍h 25 -- Kôaⁿ-jia̍t-chèng hoat-chok kah chin lī-hāi, liân-sòa 7 tiám-cheng, ū-sî kôaⁿ, ū-sî joa̍h, jiân-āu sió-khóa chhut-kōaⁿ.
6 goe̍h 26 -- Ū khah hó ah. Bô mi̍h thang chia̍h, gia̍h chhèng chhut-mn̂g, kám-kak chin bô-la̍t. Chóng--sī, ū phah tio̍h chi̍t-chiah soaⁿ-iûⁿ-bó, chin piàⁿ-sè chiah kā phāiⁿ tńg kàu chhù, chú chi̍t-kóa lâi chia̍h. Nā ē-tàng kûn thng m̄-chai gōa hó, khó-sioh góa bô oe-á.
6 goe̍h 27 -- Kôaⁿ-jia̍t-chèng koh tōa hoat-chok, góa kui-kang tó-chhn̂g, bô lim bô chia̍h. Chhùi-ta kah boeh sí, m̄-koh bô khùi-la̍t peh khí-chhn̂g, bô-la̍t the̍h chúi lim. Góa koh hiòng Sîn kî-tó, m̄-koh thâu hîn-hîn; tán thâu bô hîn ê sî, góa iū m̄-chai boeh kóng siáⁿ, kan-ta sī tó tī bîn-chhn̂g án-ne hoah:
"Chú ah, chiàu-kò͘ góa! Chú ah, khó-liân góa! Chú ah, kiù-miā oh!"
Kan-ta án-ne liân-sòa nn̄g/saⁿ tiám-cheng, it-ti̍t kàu hoat-chok chiām-chiām thè, góa chiah khùn khì, kàu pòaⁿ-mê chhéⁿ lâi. Tán chhéⁿ ê sî, góa kám-kak ke chin khùiⁿ-oa̍h, m̄-koh iáu sī bô-la̍t, ke̍k chhùi-ta. Put-jî-kò, in-ūi chhù ni̍h bô chúi, góa chí-hó tó tio̍h tán thiⁿ-kng, āu-lâi góa iū khùn khì.
Koh khùn-khì ê sî, góa chò chi̍t-ê bāng: bāng-kìⁿ góa chē tī ûi-chhiûⁿ gōa ê thô͘-kha, its tē-tāng liáu tōa hong-hō͘ lâi hit-sî góa chē ê só͘-chāi, khòaⁿ tio̍h chi̍t-ê lâng ùi chi̍t-phìⁿ o͘-hûn téng lo̍h-lâi, kui-sin hoat hóe-iām, chiò tī tē-bīn. I kui-sin kng iāⁿ-iāⁿ, góa bô hoat-tō͘ gia̍h-ba̍k khòaⁿ i. I ê piáu-chêng chhiau-kip khó-phà, lân-tit iōng bûn-jī piáu-ta̍t. I siang-kha ta̍h tio̍h thô͘-kha ê sî, góa kám-kak thô͘-kha chùn-tāng, hām tē-tāng hoat-seng hit-sî kāng-khoán. Koh-khah hō͘ góa tio̍h-kiaⁿ ê sī, kui-ê khong-kan bē-su to̍h-hóe, kim-kong siám-sih.
I chi̍t-ē lo̍h-tē tō kiâⁿ hiòng góa, chhiú the̍h chi̍t-ki tn̂g-chhiuⁿ chò bú-khì boeh thâi góa. Tán i kiâⁿ kàu lī góa bô hn̄g ê koân tē, i tùi góa kóng-ōe -- mā ē-sái kóng, sī góa thiaⁿ-tio̍h chi̍t-ê bô hoat-tō͘ hêng-iông ê khó-phà siaⁿ-im. I kóng ê ōe, góa kan-ta thiaⁿ-ū chit-kù:
"Kì-jiân it-chhè chiah-ê tāi-chì to bē-tàng hō͘ lí hoán-hóe, taⁿ lí tio̍h sí."
Góa khòaⁿ i ná kóng, ná gia̍h khí chhiú-tiong ê chhiuⁿ boeh thâi góa.
M̄-koán siáⁿ-lâng tha̍k tio̍h chit-tōaⁿ kì-chài, tiāⁿ-tio̍h m̄ siong-sìn, góa ná ū khó-lêng biô-siá lêng-hûn tī chit-lō khó-phà bāng-kéng tiong ê khióng-pò͘. Sui-bóng he put-kò sī bîn-bāng, góa khak-si̍t ū bāng-tio̍h hit-chióng khióng-pò͘. Tán góa chhéⁿ lâi, hoat-hiān he put-kò sī chi̍t-tiûⁿ bāng, he lâu tī sim-lāi ê ìn-siōng, iáu-sī bô hoat-tō͘ kā biô-siá.
Ai-ah! Góa bô sìn Sîn. Góa ùi lāu-pē tit-tio̍h ê hó kà-sī, í-keng siau-mô͘ liáu-liáu ah. Peh-nî lâi, góa sio liân-sòa kiâⁿ-chûn o̍h pháiⁿ, put-sî kau-pôe chhiūⁿ góa chit-khoán pháiⁿ tek-hēng, bô sìn Sîn ê lâng. Tī chit-tōaⁿ kî-kan, góa bē kì-tit bat gia̍h-thâu khòaⁿ Thiⁿ, a̍h hoán-séng ka-tī. Góa kan-ta sī chhiong-móa tio̍h lêng-hûn ê gû-gōng, tùi siān-liông bô su-kiû, tùi siâ-ok bô liông-ti. Tī it-poaⁿ chúi-chhiú tiong-kan, góa sǹg-sī siōng choa̍t-chêng, siōng bô su-sióng, siōng ok-to̍k ê seng-bu̍t. Tú-tio̍h hûi-hiám góa bē kèng-ùi Sîn, tit-tio̍h kái-kiù góa mā bē kám-siā Thiⁿ; chi̍t-sut-á to bô chit-lō tì-kak.
Kóng-khí kòe-khì ê kò͘-sū, góa tio̍h ke chi̍t-kù, hō͘ lí koh-khah siong-sìn, tī kàu-taⁿ só͘ tn̄g-tio̍h ê kok-chióng chai-lān tang-tiong, góa chiông-lâi m̄-bat siūⁿ-khí che sī Sîn ê chok-lōng, a̍h siūⁿ-kóng che sī tùi góa ê chōe-gia̍t, its ngó͘-ge̍k lāu-pē ê hêng-ûi, a̍h góa bo̍k-chêng ê tōa chōe-kò ê kong-chèng têng-hoa̍t, a̍h-sī kóng, che sī tùi góa siâ-ok jîn-seng ê chhú-hoa̍t. Góa bô-kò͘ it-chhè, mō͘-hiám khì Afrika ê bân-hong hái-hōaⁿ, góa m̄-bat siūⁿ tio̍h góa ē án-chóaⁿ, a̍h kiû Sîn chí-tiám hong-hiòng a̍h pó-pì góa thoat-lī sin-piⁿ ê hûi-hiám, iá-siù a̍h chheⁿ-hoan. Góa tan-tan bô siūⁿ-tio̍h Sîn a̍h Thiⁿ. Góa ê hêng-ûi ná cheng-seⁿ, kan-ta kiâⁿ chū-jiân ê kui-lu̍t, chiap-siū siong-sek ê chi-phòe, sīm-chì liân án-ne to m̄-sī.
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6.2 寒熱症發作 [語音]
6 月 16 -- 行到海邊, 我看著一隻大龜, 是海龜. 這是我第一擺 tī chia 看著海龜. 可能是我運氣無好, 才會到今才看著. 其實這个島 ê 海龜袂少. 後來我發現, 假使我去島 ê 猶一爿, 可能逐工會拄著幾若百隻, m̄-koh mā 可能因為 án-ne 著付出袂少 ê 代價.
6 月 17 -- 我煮彼隻海龜來食, 發現伊內面有 60 粒 nūi. 彼時, 對我來講, he 肉是我一生食過上生甜, 上好食 ê. 自從踏上這个可怕 ê 所在, 除了山羊和禽類, 我 m̄-bat 食著別項肉.
6 月 18 -- 規日落雨, 我無出門. 我感覺這擺 ê 雨較生冷, 予人會畏寒. 我知, tī 這个緯度 án-ne 無正常.
6 月 19 -- 人艱苦, phi̍h-phi̍h 顫, ká-ná 是天氣冷 ê 關係.
6 月 20 -- 規暝睏袂去, 頭殼疼 kah sia̍k-sia̍k 叫, koh 發燒.
6 月 21 -- 全身袂爽快. 想著家己 ê 苦情 -- 破病無人顧, 予我驚 kah 欲死. 自從離開 Hull 拄著大風雨以後, 這是我第一擺向神祈禱. M̄-koh 我毋知祈禱啥, 為著啥, 因為我 ê 心思亂操操.
6 月 22 -- 小可較好, m̄-koh 猶是 kài 驚破病.
6 月 23 -- Koh 嚴重起來, 寒 koh khu̍h-khu̍h 顫, 然後頭殼疼 kah 欲死.
6 月 24 -- 好真濟 ah.
6 月 25 -- 寒熱症發作 kah 真厲害, 連紲 7 點鐘, 有時寒, 有時熱, 然後小可出汗.
6 月 26 -- 有較好 ah. 無物 thang 食, 攑銃出門, 感覺真無力. 總是, 有拍著一隻山羊母, 真拚勢才 kā 揹轉到厝, 煮一寡來食. 若 ē-tàng 𤉙湯毋知偌好, 可惜我無鍋仔.
6 月 27 -- 寒熱症 koh 大發作, 我規工倒床, 無啉無食. 喙焦 kah 欲死, m̄-koh 無氣力 peh 起床, 無力提水啉. 我 koh 向神祈禱, m̄-koh 頭眩眩; 等頭無眩 ê 時, 我又毋知欲講啥, 干焦是倒 tī 眠床 án-ne 喝:
"主 ah, 照顧我! 主 ah, 可憐我! 主 ah, 救命 oh!"
干焦 án-ne 連紲兩三點鐘, 一直到發作漸漸退, 我才睏去, 到半暝醒來. 等醒 ê 時, 我感覺加真快活, m̄-koh 猶是無力, 極喙焦. 不而過, 因為厝 ni̍h 無水, 我只好倒著等天光, 後來我又睏去.
Koh 睏去 ê 時, 我做一个夢: 夢見我坐 tī 圍牆外 ê 塗跤, its 地動了大風雨來彼時我坐 ê 所在, 看著一个人 ùi 一片烏雲頂落來, 規身發火焰, 照 tī 地面. 伊規身光 iāⁿ-iāⁿ, 我無法度攑目看伊. 伊 ê 表情超級可怕, 難得用文字表達. 伊雙跤踏著塗跤 ê 時, 我感覺塗跤顫動, 和地動發生彼時仝款. 閣較予我著驚 ê 是, 規个空間袂輸 to̍h 火, 金光閃爍.
伊一下落地 tō 行向我, 手提一支長槍做武器欲刣我. 等伊行到離我無遠 ê 懸地, 伊對我講話 -- mā ē-sái 講, 是我聽著一个無法度形容 ê 可怕聲音. 伊講 ê 話, 我干焦聽有這句:
"既然一切 chiah-ê 代誌 to bē-tàng 予你反悔, 今你著死."
我看伊 ná 講, ná 攑起手中 ê 槍欲刣我.
毋管啥人讀著這段記載, 定著毋相信, 我那有可能描寫靈魂 tī chit-lō 可怕夢境中 ê 恐怖. 雖罔 he 不過是眠夢, 我確實 ū 夢著彼種恐怖. 等我醒來, 發現 he 不過是一場夢, he 留 tī 心內 ê 印象, 猶是無法度 kā 描寫.
Ai-ah! 我無信神. 我 ùi 老爸得著 ê 好教示, 已經消磨了了 ah. 八年來, 我相連紲行船學歹, 不時交陪像我這款歹德行, 無信神 ê 人. Tī 這段期間, 我袂記得 bat 攑頭看天, a̍h 反省家己. 我干焦是充滿著靈魂 ê 愚戇, 對善良無需求, 對邪惡無良知. Tī 一般水手中間, 我算是上絕情, 上無思想, 上惡毒 ê 生物. 拄著危險我袂敬畏神, 得著解救我 mā 袂感謝天; 一屑仔 to 無 chit-lō 致覺.
講起過去 ê 故事, 我著加一句, 予你閣較相信, tī 到今所搪著 ê 各種災難當中, 我從來毋捌想起這是神 ê 作弄, a̍h 想講這是對我 ê 罪孽, its 忤逆老爸 ê 行為, a̍h 我目前 ê 大罪過 ê 公正懲罰, a̍h 是講, 這是對我邪惡人生 ê 處罰. 我無顧一切, 冒險去 Afrika ê 蠻荒海岸, 我毋捌想著我會按怎, a̍h 求神指點方向 a̍h 保庇我脫離身邊 ê 危險, 野獸 a̍h 生番. 我單單無想著神 a̍h 天. 我 ê 行為 ná 精牲, 干焦行自然 ê 規律, 接受常識 ê 支配, 甚至連 án-ne to 毋是.
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6.2
June 16.—Going down to the seaside, I found a large tortoise or turtle. This was the first I had seen, which, it seems, was only my misfortune, not any defect of the place, or scarcity; for had I happened to be on the other side of the island, I might have had hundreds of them every day, as I found afterwards; but perhaps had paid dear enough for them.
June 17.—I spent in cooking the turtle. I found in her three-score eggs; and her flesh was to me, at that time, the most savoury and pleasant that ever I tasted in my life, having had no flesh, but of goats and fowls, since I landed in this horrid place.
June 18.—Rained all day, and I stayed within. I thought at this time the rain felt cold, and I was something chilly; which I knew was not usual in that latitude.
June 19.—Very ill, and shivering, as if the weather had been cold.
June 20.—No rest all night; violent pains in my head, and feverish.
June 21.—Very ill; frighted almost to death with the apprehensions of my sad condition—to be sick, and no help. Prayed to God, for the first time since the storm off Hull, but scarce knew what I said, or why, my thoughts being all confused.
June 22.—A little better; but under dreadful apprehensions of sickness.
June 23.—Very bad again; cold and shivering, and then a violent headache.
June 24.—Much better.
June 25.—An ague very violent; the fit held me seven hours; cold fit and hot, with faint sweats after it.
June 26.—Better; and having no victuals to eat, took my gun, but found myself very weak. However, I killed a she-goat, and with much difficulty got it home, and broiled some of it, and ate, I would fain have stewed it, and made some broth, but had no pot.
June 27.—The ague again so violent that I lay a-bed all day, and neither ate nor drank. I was ready to perish for thirst; but so weak, I had not strength to stand up, or to get myself any water to drink. Prayed to God again, but was light-headed; and when I was not, I was so ignorant that I knew not what to say; only I lay and cried,
“Lord, look upon me! Lord, pity me! Lord, have mercy upon me!”
I suppose I did nothing else for two or three hours; till, the fit wearing off, I fell asleep, and did not wake till far in the night. When I awoke, I found myself much refreshed, but weak, and exceeding thirsty. However, as I had no water in my habitation, I was forced to lie till morning, and went to sleep again. /
In this second sleep I had this terrible dream: I thought that I was sitting on the ground, on the outside of my wall, where I sat when the storm blew after the earthquake, and that I saw a man descend from a great black cloud, in a bright flame of fire, and light upon the ground. He was all over as bright as a flame, so that I could but just bear to look towards him; his countenance was most inexpressibly dreadful, impossible for words to describe. When he stepped upon the ground with his feet, I thought the earth trembled, just as it had done before in the earthquake, and all the air looked, to my apprehension, as if it had been filled with flashes of fire. /
He was no sooner landed upon the earth, but he moved forward towards me, with a long spear or weapon in his hand, to kill me; and when he came to a rising ground, at some distance, he spoke to me—or I heard a voice so terrible that it is impossible to express the terror of it. All that I can say I understood was this:
“Seeing all these things have not brought thee to repentance, now thou shalt die;” at which words, I thought he lifted up the spear that was in his hand to kill me.
No one that shall ever read this account will expect that I should be able to describe the horrors of my soul at this terrible vision. I mean, that even while it was a dream, I even dreamed of those horrors. Nor is it any more possible to describe the impression that remained upon my mind when I awaked, and found it was but a dream.
I had, alas! no divine knowledge. What I had received by the good instruction of my father was then worn out by an uninterrupted series, for eight years, of seafaring wickedness, and a constant conversation with none but such as were, like myself, wicked and profane to the last degree. I do not remember that I had, in all that time, one thought that so much as tended either to looking upwards towards God, or inwards towards a reflection upon my own ways; but a certain stupidity of soul, without desire of good, or conscience of evil, had entirely overwhelmed me; and I was all that the most hardened, unthinking, wicked creature among our common sailors can be supposed to be; not having the least sense, either of the fear of God in danger, or of thankfulness to God in deliverance.
In the relating what is already past of my story, this will be the more easily believed when I shall add, that through all the variety of miseries that had to this day befallen me, I never had so much as one thought of it being the hand of God, or that it was a just punishment for my sin—my rebellious behaviour against my father—or my present sins, which were great—or so much as a punishment for the general course of my wicked life. When I was on the desperate expedition on the desert shores of Africa, I never had so much as one thought of what would become of me, or one wish to God to direct me whither I should go, or to keep me from the danger which apparently surrounded me, as well from voracious creatures as cruel savages. But I was merely thoughtless of a God or a Providence, acted like a mere brute, from the principles of nature, and by the dictates of common sense only, and, indeed, hardly that. /
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